Improve Your Social Skills in Under 30 Minutes, with Ramit Sethi
What if you could talk to anyone, anytime, using the power of body language to create
an instant connection? Here’s how:
Do you wish you could meet new people, hold meaningful conversations, and develop closer friendships…without all the anxiety and trial-and-error? Find out how in this exclusive how-to video.
1:38 How to get your point across without getting interrupted.
5:45 Talk to strangers and keep the conversation going.
13:48 Politely wrap up a conversation
17:00 Become a compelling storyteller
20:45 Make small talk with anyone
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I can never hold a conversation or start one.
I have the same problem as well. I really suck at maintaining group conversations hence the reason why I hang out with about 1 person at a time. If I get luck, the people I hang out with get along with each other, and I become just another person in the group speaking to one person at a time.
@Ryan Hardison I have this problem too! For example, every time I interview myself in a new class, I feel like it’s the end of the world. My heart start beating and I get confused and I feel that I can’t remain keeping the conversation going. Especially if someone laughed or disagreed while I’m talking to many people, I feel that “I’d better shut up.” As Ryan said too, my friends tell me that I’m very friendly, in the same way I find it very hard to me to make friends especially when I switch school get in a new class.
In order to do this you have to nod while their talking and to repeat keywords back at them. Ask certain questions in this order: 1. What brings you here? 2.What do you do for a living/ what are you passionate about? 3. Are you doing anything today? All of these three questions can be followed up by repeating the keywords they use back at them.
In today’s time, it is a positive to converse as little as possible. The less we interact with others, the safer we are from attack. 21st century people are incapable of true friendship and true love. The person being the friendliest to you is the one you have to watch and be cautious of the most. The less we talk, the more people tend to stay away from us. We can communicate here, on YouTube, nearly anonymously without risk. Here, only my name is known. Nobody knows what I look like, my location, my place of work, nor personal details.
I CAN’T STOP STARING AT HIS EYEBROWS.
I don’t know what to say
I’m confusing sometimes
I don’t really smile
Girls are pretty
I don’t know how to keep a conversation going
Fear of rejection
And no confidence
serpents and overtake
poptarts and monopoly
apple turnover and cards against humanity
I’m a girl and for some reason I find it very cute when guys are shy. just learn to accept yourself ( i quess ) and don’t give up…
I see myself in you you’re not alone
I am afraid that i’m not funny so I don’t like to talk to people who are having fun in a conversation because I think i’m gonna make it dull
Dude, walk up to some strangers and tell them a joke. If you get no laughs, you know your joke is either shite or you told it badly. If they laugh, potential new friend/date
I would like to be “not funny”. I have speech disorder (my “r” sound’s like ‘y’ in ‘yo’ sometimes) and when I was young everybody was making fun of me. Now i’m terryfied when I must talk with someone.
@Michał Skup Being laughed at is a far different feeling than being laughed with. My friend had a similar speech condition. He practiced for hours with a pencil between his teeth. It worked for him. I think it’s a muscle thing
Samuel – I tried it. To be honest – I tried everything (even doctors) – sadly it doesn’t work.Only difference is that now I sometimes have problem and not always.
Michal – My friend tried the doctors too and didn’t get any help. You might be an extreme case but I recommend trying the pencil thing again
My problem is carrying on a conversation. I can start it, but once I’m in a middle of a conversation I just stop talking and start nodding my head and don’t put any input in the conversation were having. It’s like I freeze and don’t know what to say to add my thoughts and opinions to whatever subject were talking about. It’s like I lose interest too quickly or get bored. Normally this happens to people I don’t know or people who’s conversation I’m just not interested in. I hate it and seem very awkward .??
i completely fail at smalltalk. i have no issues having deep conversations etc because i know a lots of stuff. but at small talk i completely fail it just seems so stupid
SuicideFixated You also described my entire social life in this little comment LOL
The same way smh I hate it because 99% of the time you won’t even see that person again or if say you work with that person you know you might enjoy have long enjoyable conversation with them but don’t know how to get past the highly important small talk stage
The goal is transfer small talk to deep talk
Small talk is stupid. Its a waste of time when I can be productive somewhere else. 🙂
When all the people in the group constantly talking and laughing i was just awkwardly sitting there feeling confused, I didn’t know how to start a talk because I had no topic and was afraid that I would ruin it all
I tend to over analyze people. I tend to watch their reactions and body language to hard. And I scare them away during the conversation by trying to target what emotion they are feeling.
@Todd DeBato You are aware of it. Just this fact means you’re ahead of the game. Keep it light and turn on that switch when you need to.
+KronaTithers It’s all a game
+KronaTithers Well just know that a play is a plan with a y..a why. Peace brotha
your a libra? act like a guy. not a freaking psychologist. youll scare your date
I am totally the person at a party who pulls out his phone just to seem busy. I don’t have many friends but I desperately want some. I just graduated high school and I really want to make a lot of friends in college. But the problem is I don’t know how to start a conversation nor can I sustain it once I get one started. And it’s just so frustrating because everybody else seems to be doing it so easily.
Brian L I am in the same place you are
Hey, Just checking if you’ve made any improvements in your social skills?
I went to college and I hated every single one of my classmates and now I even hate my family.
I fkn hate Humans.
it’s been 4 years. how u doing now?
biggest weakness is trying to engange with people asking them questions, commenting on their answers BUT they dont even try to carry on conversation
+Ljubica Buba people should avoid you
+David Ung now heres a guy who knows something
never think of approaching people and asking them a question…..They never asked for an interview….you should be able to talk for one minute without asking a question….this is a skill you have to develop…then they can join in when they want…and then ask questions.
Jenny Fierro that howI I am
Jenny Fierro right¡
My biggest weakness is eye contact. For example, I don’t know what to look at when I break eye contact and it’s hard to maintain eye contact sometimes as well. Either I make bad eye contact or I stare the person down.
Peter Zhao lol i overcame that
Yeah! I always feel like I’m wierd when I make too make eye contact
I know how this is
lol i just raise my eyebrow many times like acting to be funny and they are the one who look away. lol
haha it happens to me too
my biggest weakness is trying to engage people in a conversation and trying to relate to them but fumbling my words, and then getting nervous to the point where I don’t know what to say!! i am pretty confident with people i know, but then with people i don’t i become this nervous, shy ball of awkward!!
@Sofia Mastro its been 2 months since my comment and ive made huge improvements thanks to these youtube videos. anyone who still needs help needs to check out actualized’s videos on shyness and introversion. totally changed my life. for the first time ever i feel like im actually a part of society
Ahh great.. U truly deserve that.. Wud b rly kind of u if u cud tell me some great names like this ramit sethi.. Who have made videos for social shyness
+Josh White so glad to hear that 🙂
Leo from actualized is seriously the best at this kind of thing. you can tell he actually wants to help people because hes been through it himself. this ramit guy is good too but i like how leo presents the problem, relates to the problem, then gives a real solution that actually works
Sofia Mastro are you Brazilian? Your name is in Portuguese, right?
I’m afraid of saying something incorrect and be made fun of. I also tend to completely freeze in a conversation not knowing what to say next.
+Rute Leitao I had this problem too. Awkward silence many times during a small business talk.
how did you managed to get over it ?
I just practice my speech when i have time and also tried talking to strangers.
Rute Leitao I feel you
Well great… just arrived three years late. Need to improve my timing 🙂
arrived just now..is he still sponsoring the new york trip..i really need it 😛
Well great… just arrived three years late to this comment. Need to improve my timing 😉
my favorite part was when he told a story about how to tell a story by telling a story about that time when he told a story at 18:00
i drink beer and it seems to fix my problems
how do i install these? Does it run on windows xp?
No sorry, they only runs on Windows Vista. You can make a virtual machine and install Vista on that, though.
I would ask Adam Jensen
Sure, but you need the 360NS-MLG420 update first.
When you’re in a group and that one talkative person leaves then everyone slowly splits up.
lol I notice that a lot
The alpha. If there isn’t another alpha to fill the void then the betas scatter.
I’m that person lol
Also applies to group chats
For real tho
I often feel I don’t fit in. An outsider. And the problem is not in the fact that English is my second language. I experience similar awkwardness speaking in my mother tongue. I am usually brave enough to start a conversation but fail miserably at keeping a person interested in either what I’m saying or continuing to have a conversation with me. I feel uncomfortable meeting new people due to the fear of rejection. Would love the opportunity to get down to it and break free.
Tonya Brady gg
To be interesting is to be intrested
Jacob Piece Interesting
Person- hey 🙂
*long awkward silence *
Me- “it was a pleasure meeting you, thanks for chatting.”
Lol just what I was thinking