How To Fix a Monotone Voice, with Ramit Sethi
►What if you could talk to anyone, anytime, using the power of body language to create
an instant connection? Here’s how:
Do people glaze over when you start to talk? It could be because YOU aren’t making the story engaging enough. With a few minute changes, you can get people from bored to excited. Watch as Ramit helps one of his students make the change in just a matter of minutes.
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0:45 Chris answers a commonly asked interview question (the “before”)
2:30 Ramit’s pointers on how to make Chris’ long, drawn out story more engaging for the interviewer.
I began to record myself 9 month ago and I found that my vocal tone was totally awful… It’s probably on the top list of things that gave me trouble achieving my goals in life.
Eric, I know exactly what you mean. I discovered my vocal issue when I started preparing audios for BlogTalkRadio a few years back. What you hear in your head as you speak and what others hear are VERY different sometimes, and you’ll have no clue unless you tape yourself! It took me nearly a year to develop a pleasing, confidence-inspiring tone – the older one is, the more ingrained the speech pattern is, and the more effort it will be to fix.
I love the confidence you have to do that, I’ve wanted to film my self talk for a while but I was really scared someone would find the footage and call me vain or weird.. I got a big feeling of shame over it haha even though its on self development and just normal things. I guess its this whole thing that if your talking to your self you’re insane.. haha didn’t you feel a bit weird awkward talking to your self?
I think recording silence may be more insane.
oh that barbie look alike girl does that.
How did you fix it?
What excersises did you do?
I was fortunate enough to volunteer at a recent personal development 3 day course and witness some amazing transformations that happened on the spot with some people! The stand out for me was a lady who was just in the audience (of 650 ppl!) and instead of having her talk into a mic in the audience, she was brought up on stage (very confronting for her, she agreed to it, wasn’t coerced) and she was this very timid, meek mild mannered mom, possibly even grandma – and you could barely hear her talk into the mic.
The trainer asked her how she’d be if he was coming at one of her kids with the intent to harm them… this mild mannered lady turned into momma bear and in literally less than a second her entire demeanor changed and she spoke in full power and confidence in who she was (I’m still getting goose bumps thinking about it!) The trainer had to coach her a couple times briefly to stay in that, but once she caught that feeling and KNEW who she was inside herself – that meek, subservient lady didn’t exist anymore! I don’t think there’s anything quite like seeing someone fully realise in an instant who they REALLY are and step into that!
Just like this guy did in this video – so awesome, love seeing this!
Great story man!
Nolan Holladay this was great.
I don’t even like coffee and now I want to go to that place
i am a tea man myself tbh
Right on !!! My monotone voice needs an overhaul too I guess.
i discovered chris is lacking confidence because of his body language, he was looking down and nervous, shows its not just monotone issue at 7:40 he was put on spot n u see him take a sigh. You can see nerves are taking the best of him.
lol, well he’s in front of people working on himself.. and it looked alot like he just toned out a little bit.
Don’t be so over analytical about that kind of stuff.. it will drive you crazy 😛
if i close my eyes you sound like paul rudd
looks like the Gotham actor
The guy, when he was being funny, I really liked him!
So, I’m on a quest to stop talking in monotone when I’m at work. Although, I have come to the realization that like this guy, I only emote when I really care about something I’m talking about. How do I fix this (I can not be excited about everything, please don’t say this because no one can). Feel free to PM me, I need help. Thanks in advance.
+Maunderingcabal X IMHO that’s actually a good thing (depending on the context), if you don’t care, it doesn’t matter; if it matters to others, let them talk about it. You (or me) don’t have to waste time on “liking” everything even if we don’t, that’s lying to ourselves. Be as you are, that’s what highlights your personality.
Otherwise, just play with your voice.
+Roland Soós I had 3 years of working a great job in a management position in the Air Force, then because of manning changes I got put in a customer service position, and because I speak monotone customers think I’m being rude or something, it drives me nuts…Not caring will get me in trouble.
My tip, be passionate about NOT caring, lol.
this dude is actually hilarious.. Its surprising to see he’s lacking so much on confidence
he’s lacking confidence because Ramit isn’t addressing the real problem: his poor self-image. this is actually covered in the video: “What is monotone?” Look it up on youtube. It’s the video with the Hulk Hogan face at the beginning. It really goes more into depth about the real problem that ramit completely neglects.
ii ii thank you kek
@ii ii You are 100% right. You can see the low self-esteem in his body language. His nervous jittering and constant eye movement caught my focus more than his monotone voice. Heck, I don’t even think that his voice is that bad. If he can get rid of the jittering and the nervousness, he can probably get by with a monotone voice. Ramit did give some good advice though, especially the advice about smiling. Smiling will almost ALWAYS make you look confident, even when you are not. I smile ALOT, but I’m also pretty shy, but everyone who I talk to thinks that I’m outgoing because I’m always smiling. You can hide a lot behind a smile. Lol
I can relate to this guy. Most of my friends, even my mom and also at work they find my voice very monotone. Theres really no emotion to it. It sounds like I am tired to speak up but it feels normal to me. The only time my voice changes its tone is when Im excited. But speaking normal its just a flat tone but not like robot. Hehe
so there are people like me
my voice sound boring and my communication skill is quite low…that people seem to leave me after i talked…
Same here it makes it hard to do youtube with my voice
I just feel that if I start talking like this with my friends, they would immediately realize I’m trying too hard and that I sound disingenuous.
I feel exactly the same way. Exactly the same.
I wonder if you talk like this around your friends and don’t even realize it
LiftOrGTFO start with small step = small changes, they wont notice it
I feel the same way about the people around me, i really want to change but its really intimidating
“What you think is awkward is totally normal to other people.” Mind = blown. Thanks! 🙂
Josh Greesonbach never thought about it , my mind is blown
He’s probably afraid of what’s going to happen if he speaks in a more extraverted manner. That’s why he thinks it’s awkward. He has to address these fears if he’s to become comfortable with being loud. Simply ignoring them is not a good thing, it’s going to backfire.
surrree everything that do is awkward
I can actually detect awkwardness. It’s pretty obvious
Poor guy…he’s definitely lacking self confidence, seems like an introvert. Usually people with self-esteem/self-confidence-insecurity issues have a hard to communicating/projecting.
I agree with you 123rockfan. i see a guy who likely has no problem communicating in small groups where he knows people and feels comfortable. he says so himslef—he has long-term frineds who apparently hold his sens of humor in high regard. people who are uncomfortable in large social gatherings and like to avaoid crowds aren’t necessarily introverts, nor are they more likely to be insecure. I know because I’m one of them, allthough not nearly as awkward as he seems. He needs help communicating expressively in high-pressure situations, like during an interview or in front of a room full of people.
+lm108108 I’m like that. I can shine with certain friends but I’m always ignored in large groups so I tend to avoid them.
My adhd keeps me to want to talk and befriend as many people as possible even though my social anxiety restricts that, but my depression and maladaptive daydreaming keeps making others label me as a lazy disinterested person
I can relate to this – I don’t think he is scared to speak in a extraverted manner. It’s just not natural, and takes way more energy to speak in that tone. If he was speaking about something he is passionate about, instead of something random it would be more natural.
I disagree with this comment, I don’t think he has “self confidence” issues, on the contrary, he seems self confident and VERY smart, he may or may notbe an introvert, my guess is, he is not an introvert, he just have a hard time expressing emotions in his voice and filtering the details when telling a story. I think this because I am like that too.
I have no lacking of self confidence nor I am an introvert, I have zero fear of speaking in front of hundred unknown ppl… but I have an annoying, booring monotone voice and, just like Chris, I am not good in filtering the most interesting and relevant detailes from the ones that are innecessary…
Christopher J. B. Calderón Isn’t it interesting that just changing your tone of voice you don’t even have to be the smartest person in the room. That’s why people that literally aren’t even good at what they do can still be very successful just by the way they communicate. I’ve known many “corporate overlords” that fit this exact description. Complete idiots but when they talk they’re super charged and emotional and can literally make a worse case scenario sound amazing.
I believe the problem with the dude is that he is brutally honest. He feels that it is morally wrong to play mind games and gets frustrated when people playing the game wins.
How is this monotone? to me his voice still had emotion in it. I myself have a deep voice and monotone. I could litterly talk someone to sleep if they feel a bit sleepy.
I am told I should ASMR… according to kids I play with online.
So Am I
I’m an internally hyperactive but externally lazy person. I tend to joke around & be upfront but my flat tone tends to make me sound sarcastic or rude & it gives people the wrong idea about me.
I really want to get rid of that habit so I can express myself correctly
Good. Glad to see you here. Step 1: Stop describing yourself as “lazy.” The words you use determine your future as a self-fulfilling prophecy. Step 2: Practice the techniques in this video. Come back in a few days and tell us how it goes for you! Thanks for watching.
Me too, Pyro!
I tried to do this and my husband thought that I was going into a manic episode.
I never really thought about Energy being a key factor in improving Monotone voice.