Improve Your Social Skills in Under 30 Minutes, with Ramit Sethi

Improve Your Social Skills in Under 30 Minutes, with Ramit Sethi

What if you could talk to anyone, anytime, using the power of body language to create
an instant connection? Here’s how:

Do you wish you could meet new people, hold meaningful conversations, and develop closer friendships…without all the anxiety and trial-and-error? Find out how in this exclusive how-to video.

1:38 How to get your point across without getting interrupted.
5:45 Talk to strangers and keep the conversation going.
13:48 Politely wrap up a conversation
17:00 Become a compelling storyteller
20:45 Make small talk with anyone

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84 Comments

  1. imnotsoamazinglexi on January 28, 2014 at 1:10 am

    I can never hold a conversation or start one.

    • Daniel Gonzalez Silva on February 21, 2014 at 7:47 am

      @Ryan Hardison
       I have the same problem as well. I really suck at maintaining group conversations hence the reason why I hang out with about 1 person at a time. If I get luck, the people I hang out with get along with each other, and I become just another person in the group speaking to one person at a time.

    • Adnan Nouh on March 4, 2014 at 9:16 am

      @Ryan Hardison I have this problem too! For example, every time I interview myself in a new class, I feel like it’s the end of the world. My heart start beating and I get confused and I feel that I can’t remain keeping the conversation going. Especially if someone laughed or disagreed while I’m talking to many people, I feel that “I’d better shut up.” As Ryan said too, my friends tell me that I’m very friendly, in the same way I find it very hard to me to make friends especially when I switch school get in a new class.

    • Dead X on December 16, 2018 at 1:07 pm

      Same here

    • Kaden Carr on December 29, 2018 at 12:04 am

      In order to do this you have to nod while their talking and to repeat keywords back at them. Ask certain questions in this order: 1. What brings you here? 2.What do you do for a living/ what are you passionate about? 3. Are you doing anything today? All of these three questions can be followed up by repeating the keywords they use back at them.

    • Indrid Cold on March 6, 2019 at 1:52 am

      In today’s time, it is a positive to converse as little as possible. The less we interact with others, the safer we are from attack. 21st century people are incapable of true friendship and true love. The person being the friendliest to you is the one you have to watch and be cautious of the most. The less we talk, the more people tend to stay away from us. We can communicate here, on YouTube, nearly anonymously without risk. Here, only my name is known. Nobody knows what I look like, my location, my place of work, nor personal details.

  2. Jonathan Martinez on April 14, 2014 at 6:58 am

    I CAN’T STOP STARING AT HIS EYEBROWS.

  3. XxUncontainablexX on June 6, 2014 at 9:18 pm

    I don’t know what to say
    I’m awkward
    I’m confusing sometimes
    I don’t really smile
    Girls are pretty
    I don’t know how to keep a conversation going
    Fear of rejection
    And no confidence

    • i3raiNfreezE on July 10, 2014 at 5:47 am

      serpents and overtake

    • thunder ditrick on July 14, 2014 at 5:40 pm

      poptarts and monopoly

    • Kael McIvor on August 12, 2014 at 1:38 am

      apple turnover and cards against humanity

    • sharon perthijs on September 28, 2014 at 9:36 pm

      I’m a girl and for some reason I find it very cute when guys are shy. just learn to accept yourself ( i quess ) and don’t give up…

    • Victor Zoo on February 28, 2018 at 3:13 am

      I see myself in you you’re not alone

  4. Lost Profit on August 28, 2014 at 1:32 pm

    I am afraid that i’m not funny so I don’t like to talk to people who are having fun in a conversation because I think i’m gonna make it dull

    • Samuel Okoro on September 18, 2014 at 12:07 pm

      Dude, walk up to some strangers and tell them a joke. If you get no laughs, you know your joke is either shite or you told it badly. If they laugh, potential new friend/date

    • Michał Skup on September 23, 2014 at 8:54 pm

      I would like to be “not funny”. I have speech disorder (my “r” sound’s like ‘y’ in ‘yo’ sometimes) and when I was young everybody was making fun of me. Now i’m terryfied when I must talk with someone.

    • Samuel Okoro on September 24, 2014 at 6:46 am

      @Michał Skup Being laughed at is a far different feeling than being laughed with. My friend had a similar speech condition. He practiced for hours with a pencil between his teeth. It worked for him. I think it’s a muscle thing

    • Michał Skup on September 24, 2014 at 8:00 am

      Samuel – I tried it. To be honest – I tried everything (even doctors) – sadly it doesn’t work.Only difference is that now I sometimes have problem and not always.

    • Samuel Okoro on September 24, 2014 at 12:29 pm

      Michal – My friend tried the doctors too and didn’t get any help. You might be an extreme case but I recommend trying the pencil thing again

  5. MsBeeBeex3 on December 5, 2014 at 8:52 am

    My problem is carrying on a conversation. I can start it, but once I’m in a middle of a conversation I just stop talking and start nodding my head and don’t put any input in the conversation were having. It’s like I freeze and don’t know what to say to add my thoughts and opinions to whatever subject were talking about. It’s like I lose interest too quickly or get bored. Normally this happens to people I don’t know or people who’s conversation I’m just not interested in. I hate it and seem very awkward .??

  6. SuicideFixated on December 18, 2014 at 9:01 pm

    i completely fail at smalltalk. i have no issues having deep conversations etc because i know a lots of stuff. but at small talk i completely fail it just seems so stupid

    • Gabriel on March 13, 2018 at 8:42 pm

      SuicideFixated You also described my entire social life in this little comment LOL

    • SuperRJ2012 on May 22, 2018 at 7:25 pm

      The same way smh I hate it because 99% of the time you won’t even see that person again or if say you work with that person you know you might enjoy have long enjoyable conversation with them but don’t know how to get past the highly important small talk stage

    • JT Stringer on January 2, 2019 at 8:40 pm

      The goal is transfer small talk to deep talk

    • MyTwoCents on March 3, 2019 at 10:19 pm

      Small talk is stupid. Its a waste of time when I can be productive somewhere else. 🙂

    • Nuha Izzatie on June 10, 2019 at 2:45 am

      When all the people in the group constantly talking and laughing i was just awkwardly sitting there feeling confused, I didn’t know how to start a talk because I had no topic and was afraid that I would ruin it all

  7. Todd DeBato on May 22, 2015 at 8:49 am

    I tend to over analyze people. I tend to watch their reactions and body language to hard. And I scare them away during the conversation by trying to target what emotion they are feeling.

    • Dave on June 23, 2015 at 5:07 pm

      @Todd DeBato You are aware of it. Just this fact means you’re ahead of the game. Keep it light and turn on that switch when you need to.

    • ethan ztz on October 10, 2015 at 4:18 pm

      +KronaTithers It’s all a game

    • ethan ztz on October 10, 2015 at 4:35 pm

      +KronaTithers Well just know that a play is a plan with a y..a why. Peace brotha

    • Don Maniego on January 28, 2018 at 6:34 pm

      your a libra? act like a guy. not a freaking psychologist. youll scare your date

  8. Brian L on July 3, 2015 at 6:41 pm

    I am totally the person at a party who pulls out his phone just to seem busy.  I don’t have many friends but I desperately want some. I just graduated high school and I really want to make a lot of friends in college. But the problem is I don’t know how to start a conversation nor can I sustain it once I get one started. And it’s just so frustrating because everybody else seems to be doing it so easily.

    • Jessica Rose on March 28, 2019 at 4:50 pm

      Brian L I am in the same place you are

    • Fareed Manzoor on April 7, 2019 at 3:30 pm

      Hey, Just checking if you’ve made any improvements in your social skills?

    • DIAKOURSHEET on June 7, 2019 at 6:08 am

      I went to college and I hated every single one of my classmates and now I even hate my family.
      I fkn hate Humans.

    • SHOCKOLATE on October 18, 2019 at 9:44 pm

      update

    • Onion Hashbrowns on November 4, 2019 at 7:48 am

      it’s been 4 years. how u doing now?

  9. Jenny Fierro on October 11, 2015 at 2:56 pm

    biggest weakness is trying to engange with people asking them questions, commenting on their answers BUT they dont even try to carry on conversation

    • Don Maniego on January 28, 2018 at 6:28 pm

      +Ljubica Buba people should avoid you

    • Don Maniego on January 28, 2018 at 6:29 pm

      +David Ung now heres a guy who knows something

    • colin562 on April 7, 2018 at 5:01 pm

      never think of approaching people and asking them a question…..They never asked for an interview….you should be able to talk for one minute without asking a question….this is a skill you have to develop…then they can join in when they want…and then ask questions.

    • Jocalyne Green on June 2, 2018 at 4:26 pm

      Jenny Fierro that howI I am

    • Jessica Rose on March 28, 2019 at 4:52 pm

      Jenny Fierro right¡

  10. Peter Zhao on October 23, 2015 at 1:23 am

    My biggest weakness is eye contact. For example, I don’t know what to look at when I break eye contact and it’s hard to maintain eye contact sometimes as well. Either I make bad eye contact or I stare the person down.

    • Joe Books on February 24, 2019 at 3:07 am

      Peter Zhao lol i overcame that

    • Jackie Edgin on February 26, 2019 at 6:32 am

      Yeah! I always feel like I’m wierd when I make too make eye contact

    • Jessica Rose on March 28, 2019 at 4:51 pm

      I know how this is

    • Daddy on April 22, 2019 at 12:12 pm

      lol i just raise my eyebrow many times like acting to be funny and they are the one who look away. lol

    • C. Aguilar on June 27, 2019 at 12:47 am

      haha it happens to me too

  11. Sofia Mastro on December 23, 2015 at 11:01 pm

    my biggest weakness is trying to engage people in a conversation and trying to relate to them but fumbling my words, and then getting nervous to the point where I don’t know what to say!! i am pretty confident with people i know, but then with people i don’t i become this nervous, shy ball of awkward!!

    • Josh White- Puller Of Strings on April 25, 2016 at 12:39 am

      @Sofia Mastro its been 2 months since my comment and ive made huge improvements thanks to these youtube videos.  anyone who still needs help needs to check out actualized’s videos on shyness and introversion.  totally changed my life.  for the first time ever i feel like im actually a part of society

    • Dhruv Chandra on April 25, 2016 at 1:30 am

      Ahh great.. U truly deserve that.. Wud b rly kind of u if u cud tell me some great names like this ramit sethi.. Who have made videos for social shyness

    • Sofia Mastro on April 25, 2016 at 1:40 am

      +Josh White so glad to hear that 🙂

    • Josh White- Puller Of Strings on April 25, 2016 at 2:06 am

      +Dhruv Chandra
      Leo from actualized is seriously the best at this kind of thing. you can tell he actually wants to help people because hes been through it himself. this ramit guy is good too but i like how leo presents the problem, relates to the problem, then gives a real solution that actually works

    • Rafael Avila on April 29, 2019 at 3:47 am

      Sofia Mastro are you Brazilian? Your name is in Portuguese, right?

  12. Rute Leitao on January 14, 2016 at 9:28 am

    I’m afraid of saying something incorrect and be made fun of. I also tend to completely freeze in a conversation not knowing what to say next.

    • Mervyn Poh on April 30, 2016 at 3:16 pm

      +Rute Leitao I had this problem too. Awkward silence many times during a small business talk.

    • Rute Leitao on April 30, 2016 at 11:52 pm

      how did you managed to get over it ?

    • Mervyn Poh on May 1, 2016 at 1:48 am

      I just practice my speech when i have time and also tried talking to strangers.

    • Jessica Rose on March 28, 2019 at 4:53 pm

      Rute Leitao I feel you

  13. Jennifer Lozano on February 6, 2016 at 11:27 am

    Well great… just arrived three years late. Need to improve my timing 🙂

    • Michelle Gibson on July 17, 2016 at 12:37 pm

      lol

    • Aman S on January 10, 2018 at 2:31 pm

      ??

    • high Hopes on April 1, 2018 at 4:40 am

      arrived just now..is he still sponsoring the new york trip..i really need it 😛

    • Sparkling on March 22, 2019 at 9:07 pm

      Well great… just arrived three years late to this comment. Need to improve my timing 😉

  14. Ladylike earthling on April 14, 2016 at 9:10 am

    my favorite part was when he told a story about how to tell a story by telling a story about that time when he told a story at 18:00

  15. Sir ChucklenutsTM on June 12, 2016 at 8:52 pm

    i drink beer and it seems to fix my problems

  16. Lolfish Rekt on June 20, 2016 at 9:19 pm

    how do i install these? Does it run on windows xp?

    • Lucas S on July 26, 2016 at 3:53 am

      No sorry, they only runs on Windows Vista. You can make a virtual machine and install Vista on that, though.

    • Benji Price on August 27, 2016 at 12:25 pm

      I would ask Adam Jensen

    • Zaw T on September 1, 2016 at 9:16 pm

      Sure, but you need the 360NS-MLG420 update first.

  17. johnson noel on September 3, 2016 at 3:16 pm

    When you’re in a group and that one talkative person leaves then everyone slowly splits up.

    • Hdhshs Usuahs on November 12, 2017 at 9:03 pm

      lol I notice that a lot

    • Strawberry Vagablonde on May 3, 2018 at 5:30 pm

      The alpha. If there isn’t another alpha to fill the void then the betas scatter.

    • SirDuxDaedalus on June 12, 2019 at 12:53 am

      I’m that person lol

    • SirDuxDaedalus on June 12, 2019 at 12:53 am

      Also applies to group chats

    • hello dude on July 9, 2019 at 9:14 pm

      For real tho

  18. Tonya Brady on September 26, 2016 at 9:18 am

    I often feel I don’t fit in. An outsider. And the problem is not in the fact that English is my second language. I experience similar awkwardness speaking in my mother tongue. I am usually brave enough to start a conversation but fail miserably at keeping a person interested in either what I’m saying or continuing to have a conversation with me. I feel uncomfortable meeting new people due to the fear of rejection. Would love the opportunity to get down to it and break free.

    • Damian lafrance on October 14, 2016 at 2:15 am

      Tonya Brady gg

  19. Jacob Piece on September 29, 2016 at 5:56 pm

    To be interesting is to be intrested

    • MyGuyWiFi on January 8, 2018 at 5:59 am

      Jacob Piece Interesting

  20. Manpreetmuskan on July 11, 2017 at 8:45 am

    Me- hey!
    Person- hey 🙂
    *long awkward silence *
    Me- “it was a pleasure meeting you, thanks for chatting.”
    :)):):))soml

    • hello dude on July 9, 2019 at 9:42 pm

      Lol just what I was thinking

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